We all know a few people in town who have stereotypical traits. Just about every community has them… Written with actual Piet Retiewers in mind, we aim to poke some fun at characters you are likely to meet or know in town. So grab the popcorn and have a look if you can spot yourself (or someone you know).
1. The Farmer (a.k.a Boer)
While this person may not even be an actual farmer, they have traits that are associated with farmers. They are stubborn and very traditional and have a love for their traditional music. They enjoy sports and most likely drive a bakkie . They are friendly people who are always willing to help. However, be weary of getting on their bad side since you can guarantee almost every one of them owns a shotgun! You can easily spot a real boer in a crowd. They’ll be wearing Khaki everything (including tight shorts) with brown ankle boots. When in high-spirits at parties they’ll usually ask a lady to join them for a langarm/sakkie-sakkie dance.
2. The Towny
Similar to the Boer, is the Towny, whose pursuit of a humble life, is what defines them. They don’t care for fancy things. They value personality and conservative morals above all else. They are proud patriots of their home-town (wherever that may be). More often than not they can be found in local bars with a double brandy and coke. They’re the friendly chatterboxes, looking to buy you a drink and have some interesting conversation. Like the Boer, they appreciate traditional values. Though simple people, they are genuinely kind-hearted.
3. The Sports Fanatic
You know that guy from work who can never quite shut up about sports, and is always clashing with fellow sports fanatics? The one who is actually very nice, but also very annoying because he’s a real sore loser? That’s the Sports Fanatic. Every time their team loses, a little bit of their soul seems to die. However, this never deters them from having a big mouth right before the next match. Sports Fanatics are characterised by their devotion to a specific team and it is (to them) an important part of their identity. Beer is their drink of choice and they proudly sport a little (or big) beer belly. They are extremely competitive even when playing casual sports or a friendly pool match.
4. The Big Shot
The Big Shot is the rich Alpha Dog who usually owns their own business. However rich they might be, like the Sports Fanatic, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. The general consensus on these types is that they have an attitude problem. But they really don’t care what you think, because their ego is big enough to support them. Most people may find it difficult to get along with them because they come across as loudmouth egotists who always call the shots. However, once you get to know them you will find that, under their tough and arrogant façade, they care deeply for their families and friends. They will do anything to protect those close to them.
5. The Outdoorsy Adventurist
The Outdoorsy Adventurist is always seeking new adventures. They love the outdoors and are always game to try something new. They’ve probably also dabbled in every sport under the sun. They are keen travelers and spend their weekends enjoying whiskey and campfires under the starry sky. They drive a 4×4 and they know where every dirt road in your vicinity leads to.
6. The Overachiever
The Overachiever, on the other hand, is more of an adventurer of the mind. A bit of a smart-*ss, albeit book-smart, this person seems to be the best in everything they do. Not to mention they take part in almost everything, and win too! While the adventurist seeks to experience new heights, the overachiever seeks to achieve greater heights and go even greater lengths – all the time. Needless to say, they can be control freaks at times, because they find great difficulty recovering from even the slightest bit of failure. That said though they believe that with hard work they can achieve anything which is a good trait to possess. Thus they’re model citizens who barely set a foot wrong, and are envied by most.
7. The Party Animal
This is that person you call to have a good time. They’re wildly popular and they’re known for being mischievous and fun. They don’t really like being alone and get bored easily, which is why they’re always looking for something to do, places to go or parties to crash. They always have music blasting from their tiny car, because every hour is Avicii hour to them. Weekends are too far away for Party Animals, so you can expect them to call you by Wednesday to have a night out. This person never seems to know when to quit and go home…
8. Mr/Miss Popularity
Like everyone has a party animal on speed dial, everyone knows a Miss or Mr. Popularity and about 70% of the town’s population adores them. They’re involved in almost everything from community projects to social events. They’re trying to make their mark on society, though they’ll never say it out loud. They’re always nice to people and they seem pretty darn perfect. They take pride in their spotless reputation and so they may sometimes be mistaken for the town snob. When you take some time to get to know them you’ll discover that they’re not perfect – but it will make you like them even more.
9. The Town Talker
We all know the Town Talkers. They’re friends with everyone and know everyone else’s business. They’re the first to tell you about the latest gossip and drama in town but it’s uncertain whether drama follows them or they follow the drama. They’ve got dirt on everyone (however, not always fact-based) and tend to be skilled at manipulating people, posing as friends to extort information from them. Although they can’t be trusted, they are not fundamentally bad people and are possibly just really bored. They are overly sensitive and tend to take things personally.
10. The Town Snob
Usually, in conjunction with the Town Talker, we have the Town Snob. That person who just has this “I’m-better-than-this-place” attitude, but they haven’t really done anything to get out of the town because they feel like they’re a bit of a celebrity. They’re well cultured and only drink fine wines and expensive whiskeys. They wouldn’t be caught dead drinking papsak, but when they (accidentally) get drunk at some local festival, they get down and dancy with the best of them. They’re only human after all. For the most part, they seem very well put together, and they like to think of themselves as classy.
11. The Pessimist
The Pessimist is the person you’re always trying to avoid because given the chance they will complain about something. They consider themselves to be realistic. But in all honesty, their pessimism can get a bit draining. They tend to be good at arguing too for some reason, always fighting with some random person in the comment section of a news article on Facebook. They can argue a good point and are useful in pointing out how things should be and what’s wrong with the world. But it will always be near impossible to convince these types that there is a bright side.
12. The Super-Parents
Another exhausting type you may come into contact with is the Super Parents. These people, in addition to posting fifty pictures on Facebook of their child, daily, are always busy with some or other after-school activity involving their children. Their lives revolve around their children. If they’re new parents then their house probably smells like poop or play-dough, while older parents have to put up with the stench of rebellious teenager mannerisms. Nonetheless, it’s clear that family means everything to them. They don’t mind the ups and downs that their household goes through. They will endure anything for the benefit of their kids. They’re always there for their children no matter what. They annoy you with all their child-related Facebook posts, but they don’t care. They are proud parents and they think everyone needs to know how amazing their child is.
Did we miss out any characters? Let us know in the comments below.
Disclaimer: To anyone who may feel offended, this is just a tongue in cheek article. Don’t take it personally.
Collaboration article by Yoda and Small Town Girl.
Small Town Charm 